i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
