College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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