Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
