i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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