I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
