I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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