wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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