u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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