Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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