you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
