We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
