you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize