Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
