Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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