I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
