oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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