It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
and she was petting her beer can
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize