Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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