and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Farmville is her only friend.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize