i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
