He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
