just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
