thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
