and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
