the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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