if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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