My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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