brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
