yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
