i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
