uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
