Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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