just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
