Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
