I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize