dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
