oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
