This girl is more easily done than said...
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
