I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
4 words: hood of his car
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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