You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
