I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
