Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
