That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Come share oat with me in your robe
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize