at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
