I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize