Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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