you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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