I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
