I feel great
I just peed on a car
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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