She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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