I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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