there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
