I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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