Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
