Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
