i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
