the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
