I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
