im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
