I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
