i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
