I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
