You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
