He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
