Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize