Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Randomize
