Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
