your room smells of hookers.
And success
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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