She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
