if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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