Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
