I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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