we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
